Hi Greta - hmmm, I'm not sure about this - it all feels a bit 'made-up', which of course it is - but it feels complex - Santa's workshop staffed by snowmen, a haunted house that uses the (living!) snowman as a decoration, a ghost, and so it goes on. It feels like lots of different bits with too much stuff to communicate. I think the Haunted House is key to everything, so I'm just going to chuck some ideas out there...
1) Imagine that a child lives in a house all the other kids in the neighbourhood think is haunted. The kid is thought of as weird and no one plays with him at all and he's lonely - one kid - a bully - makes his life especially miserable.
So maybe one day, it snows and the front garden of the haunted house is covered in snow. The little lonely kid goes out into the snow and makes himself a companion. We see a quick montage of shots of the kid and the snowman having fun (importantly, the snowman isn't alive, he's just snow, but we see the kid putting him on roller-skates, or pretending to have picnic with him - just stuff that tells us the little boy is lonely and desperate for someone to play with. The other kids see him in the garden and tease him, throwing snowballs or whatever and then the bully kid pushes the kid over and knocks off the snowman's head :(
The bully leaves - and the kid, lying in the snow looks up miserably - there's a bright star in the sky - and we see him make a wish. The next moment, we hear a knock at the door, and when the child goes to open it, there is no one there, but there is a parcel on the doorstep...
Now - I don't know why, but I've got a feeling that there's a chance here to take your story in a sudden dark direction - for example, if you've set your film up as one of those 'Christmas miracle-type' narratives, in which a boy's Christmas wish is granted, your audience will expect the parcel to contain a puppy, or a magic carrot that makes the snowman in the garden come alive or something like that, but maybe, because I'm horrible, I think it would be fun if the bully's head is in the box, which the boy puts on top of the be-headed snowman - in a macabre sort of Addams Family way ... tonally, I think I'm being inspired by this lovely cute>horror animation about a snowman: https://vimeo.com/mackcarruthers/snowdrifter
I think your audience will enjoy the idea of the bully getting his comeuppance, but also it's nice because, as it turns out, the little kid in the haunted house is a bit of a weirdo after all!
I think my point is that here, you're using the Haunted House to describe very quickly why a character is alienation and lonely: you're using the character of the snowman to further tell us something about this character, and the parcel represents a true third act surprise.
I suppose the above idea stemmed from the simple realisation that when it snows, everyone wants to build a snowman, even the occupants of a haunted house - in this way, your setting and set-up could be much simpler, as opposed to introducing different settings etc. that don't really contribute to your story. I can all be done much more simply - particularly if you use the story elements proactively:
Haunted House = lonely, isolated protagonist Snowman = a friend built by the protagonist (because he is lonely) Parcel = something unexpected.
Hi Phil. I see why would you say that the original idea is a bit too much, I wasn't sure myself. I know I didn't push the idea very far, as I literally just used the 'items' instead of trying to symbolise them. But I see lots of potential in your idea and I am especially excited about the dark and unexpected ending! So thanks for the feedback! :)
OGR 24/01/17
ReplyDeleteHi Greta - hmmm, I'm not sure about this - it all feels a bit 'made-up', which of course it is - but it feels complex - Santa's workshop staffed by snowmen, a haunted house that uses the (living!) snowman as a decoration, a ghost, and so it goes on. It feels like lots of different bits with too much stuff to communicate. I think the Haunted House is key to everything, so I'm just going to chuck some ideas out there...
1) Imagine that a child lives in a house all the other kids in the neighbourhood think is haunted. The kid is thought of as weird and no one plays with him at all and he's lonely - one kid - a bully - makes his life especially miserable.
So maybe one day, it snows and the front garden of the haunted house is covered in snow. The little lonely kid goes out into the snow and makes himself a companion. We see a quick montage of shots of the kid and the snowman having fun (importantly, the snowman isn't alive, he's just snow, but we see the kid putting him on roller-skates, or pretending to have picnic with him - just stuff that tells us the little boy is lonely and desperate for someone to play with. The other kids see him in the garden and tease him, throwing snowballs or whatever and then the bully kid pushes the kid over and knocks off the snowman's head :(
The bully leaves - and the kid, lying in the snow looks up miserably - there's a bright star in the sky - and we see him make a wish. The next moment, we hear a knock at the door, and when the child goes to open it, there is no one there, but there is a parcel on the doorstep...
Now - I don't know why, but I've got a feeling that there's a chance here to take your story in a sudden dark direction - for example, if you've set your film up as one of those 'Christmas miracle-type' narratives, in which a boy's Christmas wish is granted, your audience will expect the parcel to contain a puppy, or a magic carrot that makes the snowman in the garden come alive or something like that, but maybe, because I'm horrible, I think it would be fun if the bully's head is in the box, which the boy puts on top of the be-headed snowman - in a macabre sort of Addams Family way ... tonally, I think I'm being inspired by this lovely cute>horror animation about a snowman: https://vimeo.com/mackcarruthers/snowdrifter
I think your audience will enjoy the idea of the bully getting his comeuppance, but also it's nice because, as it turns out, the little kid in the haunted house is a bit of a weirdo after all!
I think my point is that here, you're using the Haunted House to describe very quickly why a character is alienation and lonely: you're using the character of the snowman to further tell us something about this character, and the parcel represents a true third act surprise.
I suppose the above idea stemmed from the simple realisation that when it snows, everyone wants to build a snowman, even the occupants of a haunted house - in this way, your setting and set-up could be much simpler, as opposed to introducing different settings etc. that don't really contribute to your story. I can all be done much more simply - particularly if you use the story elements proactively:
Haunted House = lonely, isolated protagonist
Snowman = a friend built by the protagonist (because he is lonely)
Parcel = something unexpected.
Hi Phil. I see why would you say that the original idea is a bit too much, I wasn't sure myself. I know I didn't push the idea very far, as I literally just used the 'items' instead of trying to symbolise them. But I see lots of potential in your idea and I am especially excited about the dark and unexpected ending! So thanks for the feedback! :)
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